I hung….. one last time..
I looked at it and nothing!!
Pulled it out again, turned it on, put the password and Unlocked the screen for the last time.
Slid my thumb over the top, pulled the notification bar and
NOTHING!!!
All I was looking for was one word …..two letters!!
“OK”!!
It meant that THEY would leave me alone.
It was a minute to midnight. 60 seconds for it to be all over but I couldn’t see it happen.
“You should not have taken that lane? You had not seen what was happening..” ………..but it was over.
Hands shaking - I grabbed the rope. I brought my left palm up and slid it across my eye.
ONE LAST TIME…
With shaking arms, I detached the Fan from the hook, placed it slowly on the ground and slowly pulled the stool below the hook.
Eerie Silence took over. Managed to tie the rope to the hook, made a knot on the other end, got on the tool, adjusted the noose …………. kicked the stool and
CRACKKK………AARRGHH…….
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AARRGHH
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GOTCHAAA😈.
Did you really think that? Be honest.
I know I am good at this.
But
I HUNG ONE LAST TIME..
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What?? ……….Yeah
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Summers in Kolkata are a killer. Heat and Humidity concoct such that heat makes you sweat and well.. humidity does not let it evaporate. PHYSICS 101🤣🤣 or GEOGRAPHY 101 (Just choose your subject).
Result - Dripping sweat and burning skin!! Feels like Heaven
Hell. Try it sometimes.
And in this Heaven Hell, the prime real estate to enjoy some soothing air is NOT a beach on the Bay of Bengal or the Hooghly. It’s not even near the pool, at dusk.
It’s right on the gate of the Bengal Suburban Train!! Free of cost, except that you have to either position yourself at the right place to get on the train, be lucky or be Intimidating. I chose the first two (As if being intimidating can even be a choice for me🤣🤣).
“Wtf is he saying? He has lost his mind”
Luck? Intimidation? Trains?
Ok, enough self-deprecating humour - btw you should try!!!
Not hanging….😈
Humour.
Suburban train is a lifeline in Bengal - some people even travel more than 200 kilometres daily. But this lifeline also gets crowded and I mean ………
CROWDEAD!!!!!
To my non-Indian friend - it’s not the crowd you can imagine. It needs a different word (I already made one☝️)
But then we don’t update the Websters or the Oxfords… (I mean we cannot) …….Poor us!!
Add to this crowd, the Summer Concoction of Heat and Humidity.
Imagine this -
Copious amount of people packed in the train, un-evaporating sweat which simply ferments on the skin, emanating a weird smell that you do not want near your nostrils.
Well, how can you escape this - ON THE BLOODY TRAIN GATE
Wide open full-sized GATES - channelling cool air on your body as it zips through the city.
Now you know why it’s a prime real estate.
Each gate fits 4 or 5 (if someone is suffering from kwashiorkor)…Chill. It’s called HUMOUR.
And the thing is you cannot just stick your face out.
You hang half your body or at least 1/3rd of your body such that it shows that you are utilising the REAL ESTATE or else my friend, nice expletives are hurled at you
Because
You either hang properly or you effing DON’T.
Now, when I went to the University - I would also fight for this REAL ESTATE - because no amount of money can buy it🤣🤣.
You get used to the cool air so much that even if the train is empty - you ..my friend will Hang from the GATE. That’s just how it is. No logic applied…….
But I moved out of India in 2021 and since then only get a chance to HANG when I go back once a year.
And, this year was no different. It was the final week and my final meet with a friend and I was bubbling because it was 9 ish at night, and even though it was not summer,
I wanted to HANG ONE LAST TIME!!
Trains wouldn’t be crowded and I could easily get myself a place to STAND - no need of elaborate mind games.
I reached the station and as usual, did not pay attention to the announcements…like before. Who does?
These trains never stopped, and I know my city. Nothing bothersome had happened, but they were announcing something else.
You know the words were not the same and so I heard and……
DAMN!!
Some Wire somewhere had gone HAYWIRE - basically, the lines were disrupted.
And then what, I walked out of the station, and got a bus but guess what? That bus could not drop me at my stop - because who knows what.
Some witch had stuck everything at the same time (OK - witch/wizard…no discrimination).
And it was like 5 more stops to my usual stop and then a bus came - it was crowded but who cares? And then just then…
It STRUCK me.
Not only was it crowded - there was no place inside the bus at all.
So, the way to do it is. You firmly place one foot inside the bus but near the gate, hold the Vertical handle at the Door with your RIGHT HAND, hold the door railing on the top with your LEFT HAND and HANG YOURSELF OUTSIDE.
Hence, for the next 10 minutes to my stop……
I HUNG ONE LAST TIME.
Rohit.